How to make a wedding guest list without arguments

Find your number first

Divide the budget you can spend on food and drink by your caterer's price per person, then check it against the capacity of your venue. The lower figure is your limit.

Sort people into three lists

A list: immediate family and closest friends.
B list: people you would truly love to have there.
C list: people you would invite if there is space.

Both of you write your lists separately, then compare them. Include each family's list at this stage if they are contributing.

Agree on your rules

Who gets a plus one: for example, only married or long-term partners.
Whether children are invited, and apply the same rule to everyone.
Whether colleagues are invited: all of a team, or only close friends.
A quick test, such as "have we seen them in the past two years?"

Track by invitation, not by person

A couple or a family receives one invitation but takes several seats. Group people by invitation, and keep each person's name, so your replies, meal choices and seating all stay accurate.

Sending to your B list

Some couples send invitations in two rounds. If you do, leave enough time before your RSVP deadline, so nobody feels like a late addition.

Common questions

How many guests will say no?

It varies a lot with travel distance and date, so don't count on a fixed percentage. Make sure you could host everyone you invite.

Do we have to invite everyone with a plus one?

No. A clear rule that applies to everyone is easier to explain than case by case decisions.

What should the guest list include?

Names, invitation group, contact details, reply, dietary needs and table.

This guide offers general suggestions only. Costs, rules and timings vary, so check the details with your venue, vendors and local authorities.